A Change of Heart
by Debi
Summary: An alternate story for Jake and Hamilton. What if there was no kiss on the roof and no “throwing caution to the wind” at the cotillion?


Title: A Change of Heart, Part 1/1  
Author: Debi  
Email: IanFan9@aol.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: Jake and Hamilton (I just can't stay away from those two!)  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and the folks who do are too stupid to realize what a good thing they had.  
Summary: An alternate story for Jake and Hamilton. What if there was no kiss on the roof and no "throwing caution to the wind" at the cotillion?  
Spoilers: I've rearranged things for this story, so there aren't technically spoilers. The characters are basically the same, except that Jake never kissed Hamilton on the roof. They have made it through most of the summer session as best friends and no one knows Jake's secret. Jake is still in love with Hamilton, but he doesn't know it...yet.   
Thanks: To Ev for being a wonderful source of inspiration and feedback!   
Authors Note: For those of you following "Dear Diary", don't worry I haven't given up on that story. I still have lots of ideas for that one. I just needed to shift gears for a little while and write something different. Hope you enjoy this one!  
  
  
Jake sat in the corner of the dining hall, breakfast half eaten in front of her as she stared out the window and across the lawn to the lake. New Rawley Lake. The same lake the crew team rowed across every afternoon. Jake was now the coxswain of the Rawley Academy crew team. It had never been a part of Jacqueline's plan when she came to Rawley to join any clubs or sports. She hadn't even planned on making any friends. The idea was that she would come here as Jake Pratt, send her mother some letters on the school letterhead, her mother would question it and Jake would inform her that she was attending an all boys school. The theory went that her mother would naturally freak out over this, pull Jake out of the school and bring her home to New York. Her daughter posing as a boy would be the catalyst Jacqueline needed to get her mother to be more involved in her life. Monica Pratt was a wonderful actress, but she tended to look at motherhood as another role. A role that could be forgotten or set aside when a better role came along. Monica traveled a lot and was often gone for months at a time leaving her daughter in the hands of the housekeeper or a boarding school.   
  
Growing up Jacqueline quickly realized she did not fit the standard profile for kids at her school. She was the only child of a single parent. Most of her classmates were the children of wealthy "old money" New England families. The majority of them had both parents at home or at least saw both of their parents regularly. Jacqueline had often gone for months without seeing her mother and she had never known her father. Her closest "relative" was the housekeeper, Consuela. Consuela was Jacqueline's closest friend. They would talk, share secrets, shop and cook together. When she was at home, Jacqueline and Consuela were a team. She loved Consuela and would feel lost without her, but it still wasn't the same as having that kind of relationship with her mother. It was Consuela's influence that kept Jacqueline level headed and grounded instead of turning into a materialistic snob. She liked to dress nicely, but she wasn't obsessed with it. She enjoyed shopping, but she also enjoyed video games and messing around on her computer. She had friends, but she never felt like she totally fit in with the other girls in school. When it came to boys and dating, the other girls lived for it. Jacqueline had gone on dates, but quickly realized that the boys in school weren't crazy about a girl who could routinely beat them at video games and knew more about computers then they did. As she got older, she started to feel invisible, especially at home. She wanted a way to get her mother's attention. Some spark that would start a real conversation between them. First she tried asking for expensive computer equipment. Figuring her mother would balk at the cost and want to know more about Jacqueline was buying, they could start talking about computers and she could share her interest with her mother. Instead Monica simply gave Jacqueline a credit card and told her to buy whatever she needed. Disappointed, she bought the equipment anyway and spent countless hours with her computer, learning new tricks and discovering that she could access all sorts of information. She stumbled across a web page one night for a school that had a larger computer science program. Intrigued by the school and less than thrilled with her current surroundings, she asked her mother if she could change schools. Again, she thought something as big as wanting to change schools would start a more in depth conversation between her and her mother. It didn't. Monica simply said ok and told Jacqueline to forward the school's information to her accountant and he would take care of the arrangements. It was not the reaction Jacqueline had hoped for.   
  
The new school was nice, but the computer program wasn't nearly as advanced as she had hoped. By midterms she was bored and began researching other schools. When she found another school that seemed interesting, she again asked her mother to change schools. She didn't realize that she asked the same week as the Tony award nominations were announced and the request barely registered with her mother. She changed schools and finished the semester. During the holidays, Monica was out of town again and Jacqueline had gone with Consuela to visit her family. They had a great time and she found a new passion. Motorcycles. Consuela's brother had a motorcycle and took Jacqueline for a ride. She was hooked from the first minute. She loved the feeling of freedom and power the bike gave her. Consuela's brother taught her to ride and showed her the basics of owning and operating a motorcycle. As soon as she got her drivers license, Jacqueline asked her mother for a vehicle. Monica agreed, but was again to busy to shop with her, so Jacqueline and the accountant bought a motorcycle instead of a car.   
  
The pattern continued and eventually Jacqueline was at her fifth school in less than two years. She was hurt and frustrated. She was on her bike at a stop light when some girls in a convertible pulled up and started flirting with her. At first she was confused by the attention, but then realized that they thought she was a boy. Glancing down at herself, she realized it wasn't such a stretch. Her hair was pulled up under her helmet and sunglasses masked part of her face. She wasn't wearing any makeup at the time and her leather jacket easily hid the curves of her torso. Add the baggy jeans and boots she had on and it wasn't too surprising that they thought she was a guy. In her dorm room that night, Jacqueline kept replaying the incident in her mind. It made her feel worse than ever. The first time in months that anyone had paid attention to her and they did so because they thought she was a guy. As she repeated this over and over in her head, an idea slowly took shape in her mind. What if she dressed as a guy? Her mother would have to notice that, but how to make it more dramatic? Just coming home dressed different wouldn't be enough, none of her other ideas had worked and they were far more drastic than a change of clothes. Reaching for her laptop, she remembered a school she had seen online one night, Rawley Academy. It was an all girls school, but she remembered that there was a separate listing for Rawley Academy for Boys. As the idea slowly took shape, she was energized. She knew how she was going to get her mother's attention for sure. Jacqueline Pratt was going to become Jake Pratt and attend Rawley Academy for Boys. And Monica Pratt was going to find out about it.   
  
The very fact that she was sitting here staring at the New Rawley Lake was proof that her idea failed. Jake had been here for weeks and her mother was still oblivious. She had sent numerous letters on school stationary with no response. She had dropped hints, left clues and all but shouted it into her mother's voicemail. Somehow, her mother had completely missed it - again.  
  
So why was she still here? Hamilton Fleming.   
  
During orientation week, the coach of the crew team approached Jake and asked "him" to join to team. He needed a coxswain. Jake hadn't known how to react and agreed just to end the conversation quickly. On the first day of practice, someone approached Jake to inform her that students weren't allowed to have motorcycles. She turned to face the accusation and was met with the most stunning blue eyes she had ever seen in her life. The amazing blue eyes were part of a beautiful face and it was hard for Jacqueline to keep her "boy" act intact. She was relieved when the coach showed up and started practice. It got difficult again when that same coach allowed them a break in the middle of the lake and she discovered that the beautiful eyes and face also came with a beautiful body. When they stopped, he removed his shirt to sun himself and Jake had to look away to keep from blowing her act right then and there. The beautiful boy was Hamilton Fleming, the Dean's son and now Jake's best friend. After that first practice, Jake and Hamilton quickly discovered that they had a lot in common. They liked the same video games, movies and music. They also shared a sense of loneliness, having both grown up feeling like they didn't fit in. Hamilton was the only reason Jake hadn't left Rawley Academy. It was obvious her original plan was a failure, but she finally had a best friend and she couldn't bear the thought of giving that up yet. It kept her up at night knowing that Hamilton thought she was a guy and that she was lying to him every minute of every day. But she hadn't been able to make herself tell him the truth or leave. Recently, she had been hit with the realization that she had fallen in love with him. Completely, hopelessly, totally fallen in love with Hamilton...her best friend...who thought she was a guy.  
  
Voices calling her name brought Jake out of her reverie. She looked up and saw Hamilton, Will and Scout standing next to the table, trays in hand.  
  
"Are you coming? You don't want to be late for class." Will said as the three boys turned and headed for the exit.  
  
She looked around and saw that most of the other students had already left the dining hall. She had been lost in thought and forgotten about everything else. She gathered her tray and followed them. She knew she was going to have to tell Hamilton the truth, that she was a girl, but she had no idea how or when. It was getting harder and harder for her to hide her feelings. Every time he brushed against her, she could feel the heat rise inside her. She found herself staring at him whenever she could and he kept appearing in her dreams. She longed to touch him, kiss him and hold his hand, but he thought she was a "he". The truth was probably going to destroy their friendship. Shaking the thoughts from her head, she took a deep breath and jogged to catch up with them.   
  
Crew practice was over and Jake was trying to get through the locker room quickly. Normally, she didn't even go in there, but Finn had wanted her to look over some new courses for the team and he had left them in the locker room. After they were finished, Jake was trying to leave without running into anyone when she heard voices that were all too familiar. It was Hamilton, Will and Scout again and they were talking about girls. Common sense told her to get out fast, but curiosity killed the cat and compelled Jake to stay and listen.   
  
"So, how are things with you and Caroline?" This was Scout addressing Will.   
  
"They're good, moving along slowly, but good. It kind of strange for us both since we come from completely different worlds, but we're learning and it's pretty cool."  
  
"That's cool. You can thank me anytime for talking you into asking her to the cotillion." Scout was laughing as he teased Will.  
  
Mentioning the Summer Cotillion brought back a wave of memories for Jake. Jake had wanted to go the dance, but her charade made that impossible. She desperately wanted to be Hamilton's date, but couldn't find the courage to tell him the truth, so she did the next best thing. Gathering every ounce of nerve she had, she asked him if he wanted to go to the dance together and hang out since neither of them had dates. Initially, he agreed, but fate intervened and at the last minute Lena asked Hamilton to be her date. It hurt like hell to see him with her, but Jake still wasn't ready to tell him the truth and spent the first half of the dance in her room crying. Eventually, her desire to see Hamilton won out and she put on the tux and went anyway. Hamilton and Lena came over and talked with Jake between songs, but every time the music started again, Lena would pull him back to the dance floor. It drove stakes into Jake's heart to see him dance with Lena. She realized that night just how completely in love with him she really was.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Will responded to Scout's teasing. "Enough! How's Paige?"  
  
"She's good, we're going to another of her father's parties this weekend. Do you and Caroline want to come with us?"  
  
"Sounds cool to me, I'll ask her at dinner and let you know."  
  
"What about you, Ham? Why don't you get a date and come with us?"   
  
"I don't know, the party sounds cool, but who would I take?" Hamilton's voice sent tingles down Jake's spine.  
  
"How about Lena?"  
  
"Nah, she's nice, but she's not really my type."  
  
"Okay, how about Rachel?"  
  
"No way, dude. All she talks about is clothes. If I have to hear about Versace's newest line of dresses one more time, my head might explode!"  
  
A round of laughter filled the room and Will and Scout each took turns suggesting potential dates for Hamilton. He shot down every suggestion.  
  
"Ok, dude, I give up. You have an entire school full of girls to chose from...just pick one!"  
  
Hamilton thought for a moment and responded. "I'm really not interested in most of the Rawley girls. The majority of them see me only as the Dean's son and therefore not worthy of their attention. I'm just not interested in the rest of them, the ones I've met anyway. I don't want some princess who's been "daddy's little girl" all her life."  
  
"Ok," Will said slowly, "what kind of girl do you want?"  
  
Jake wouldn't have moved if her jeans caught fire. She had to hear this answer.  
  
"Well, I guess the biggest thing is someone I can be myself with, be comfortable around. Someone who doesn't care that my father is the dean or that my mother is a teacher. Someone who will play video games with me and spend hours listening to the newest CD I bought. Someone who will keep me company while I hunt for the perfect picture or wait while I develop film in the darkroom. Someone with a good sense of humor and isn't all hung up on appearances."  
  
"Ok, Ham. Good luck with that one." Scout was laughing.   
  
"Dude, you're in trouble. We can't even put up with you like that, much less some girl! The only person that can put up with you like that is Jake." Will laughed and Scout laughed harder as they said goodbye and left Hamilton in front of his locker.   
  
Jake's mind raced to process all that she had just heard. She needed to get out of the locker room and be alone with her thoughts. She heard Hamilton close his locker and walk away. She assumed he was leaving and came around the row of lockers. Just as she passed Hamilton's locker, he came back...wearing nothing but a towel.  
  
"Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" Hamilton smiled, making it even more difficult for her to think coherently. The sight in front of her was jamming her brain.   
  
She fought for the words as he moved back to his locker and retrieved a bottle of shampoo.   
  
"Um, Finn...wanted me to look...at some new courses." Did her voice sound as unsteady to him as it did in her own ears?  
  
Hamilton began walking back to the showers as he answered. "That's cool, anything good coming up?"  
  
Jake followed him, her mind was overloaded and the "autopilot" was finally kicking in.  
  
"Nah, just some new things to keep everyone from getting bored." Jake watched as Hamilton stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed. The towel came up over the bar and landed there. The only thing the separated Jake from a totally naked Hamilton was a thin piece of vinyl. She had to get out of there... or in that shower with him!  
  
"I've...got some things to do, dude. I'll catch you later." Jake stammered and ran out.  
  
Hamilton said goodbye and turned his attention to the shampoo. His mind wandered to Will's comment about Jake, though. Will was right, Jake was the one person he was completely comfortable with. He briefly wondered if this was a good thing or a bad thing. After all, Jake was his buddy, but so were Will and Scout. So why wasn't he as comfortable with them as he was with Jake? They all got along well and had fun together, but something about Jake made Hamilton open up in ways he couldn't with the other guys.   
  
Back in her room, Jake paced frantically. She was going to have to tell him the truth. The sight of him wrapped in that towel was too much. She wanted to take that towel or better yet, be that towel! She knew if she waited much longer, she was going to make a huge mistake and he would find out anyway. Maybe if she told him and had a chance to explain everything, he wouldn't hate her and they would at least have the chance to remain friends. Regardless of the outcome, Jake knew it was finally time to tell Hamilton the truth.  
  
Later that night, she took a shower and changed clothes, still putting on her boy gear. Cargo pants and a loose button down shirt over the corset, but underneath were a lacy blue bra and matching lace panties. She needed to feel feminine tonight, no matter what happened and boxer shorts just weren't going to cut it.   
  
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Jake dialed Hamilton's number and was relieved when he picked up right away.  
  
"Hey, it's Jake."  
  
"Hey. What's up?"  
  
"Um, can you come over here? I have to talk to you about something."  
  
"Yeah, sure. What is it? You sound kinda funny."   
  
"I'll explain later. Can you come now?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a few minutes."  
  
The 10 minutes it took him seemed like forever. Finally, he knocked and Jake let him in, locking the door behind him.   
  
"Dude, what's up? You don't look very good."  
  
"Hamilton, sit down. I have something very important to tell you. I need you to let me explain everything first before you get angry..."  
  
"Angry? Why will I get angry?" Hamilton looked confused. He was adorable when he looked confused.  
  
"Hamilton, please. Just let me say what I have to say before I lose my nerve." He opened his mouth as if to speak, but then thought better of it and closed it again. He looked to Jake and waited.  
  
Jake took a deep breath and looked at Hamilton. "I'm really sorry, but I've been lying to you. I'm not who you think I am."  
  
Hamilton looked more confused now. "Jake, what are you talking about? Who are you if you're not Jake Pratt?"  
  
"I'm Jacqueline Pratt. Hamilton, I'm a girl."  
  
"YOU'RE WHAT?" Hamilton jumped to his feet, confused and now getting angry. "What the hell are you saying?"  
  
"Please, let me explain everything. I never expected to make friends when I came here. I was only doing this to get my mother's attention. I figured I'd be out of here in a few weeks tops. I never thought she wouldn't catch on and I'd be here long enough to get close to anyone..."  
  
Hamilton was looking at her like she had just turned purple and sprouted horns. "You're telling me that you...Jake...are a girl...that I...have been hanging out with a girl...all summer. No way! Not possible!"  
  
Jake was getting frustrated. He was clearly hung up on the gender part and she wasn't going to get any further until he believed she was female. Reaching for the buttons of her shirt, Jake decided to prove that she was, in fact, all girl.   
  
"What are you doing?"   
  
"You don't believe me, well, here." She got the last button and undid the Velcro of the corset. Holding her shirt open, she said, "now do you believe me?"  
  
Hamilton was dumbstruck. His eyes registered the sight of Jake's very female breasts covered with delicate blue lace and beautifully toned abs, but his mind didn't know what to do.  
  
Shocked and speechless, he turned for the door. Jake sensed he was going to leave and grabbed his hand.   
  
"Please, don't leave yet. I'm so sorry about all of this, please let me explain."  
  
Hamilton looked at her, still speechless, but allowed himself to be pulled back to the chair.  
  
"I never meant to hurt you and I've hated lying to you. But I came here to make my mother realize she knows nothing about me. Remember when I told you this was my sixth school in two years? That wasn't a lie. I really have changed schools that many times and she never even noticed that I had moved."  
  
Jake went on to explain the events that lead her to Rawley. Hamilton just sat there, not knowing what to do or say. His eyes kept wandering back to Jake's shirt. She had buttoned the shirt back up, but left the top ones open and hadn't put the corset back on. It was blatantly obvious that she was a girl and he was amazed that he hadn't caught on sooner. Several things made sense now, not the least of which was why Jake was always covered in layers when all the other guys were running around in shorts and tanks.   
  
"Hamilton?"  
  
Hamilton realized he wasn't even hearing Jake anymore. His mind was running in a hundred different directions and his eyes were glued to her chest.   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I asked you if you can understand why I did all this." Jake searched his face for some measure of understanding, but all she saw was confusion mixed with hurt and anger.  
  
"I don't know, Jake, this is a lot to process right now. I don't know what I think. But why now, Jake? Why tell me this now? If you didn't tell me right from the beginning, and this didn't get your mother's attention, then why tell me at all? You could have just finished the session and left. No one would have known." His blue eyes looked sad and confused and Jake felt like there was a knife stuck right through her heart. This was the last person she wanted to hurt and his eyes told her that was exactly what she had done.  
  
"Hamilton...I had to tell you the truth. I've hated lying to you. You've become my best friend and more." Jake hesitated, not sure if she should continue. "I had to tell you because I don't want to leave Rawley now. I know my plan didn't work, but I like it here and I want to stay. I like being with you. I don't want to leave...you." Jake took a deep breath and looked Hamilton square in the eye. It was now or never, she thought, tell him now or hide it forever. "I'm...in...love...with...you." She held her breath and braced herself for the worst.   
  
"WHAT?" This was the last straw for Hamilton, there was just too much to absorb in such a short time, he jumped to his feet and started pacing around the room.  
  
"OK, JAKE! Let me see if I've got this straight. You're mother doesn't pay enough attention to you, so you decide to dress like a guy and come here to see if she'll notice. She doesn't, but we become friends so that makes you want to stay, in spite of the fact that your whole existence here is a LIE! And then on top of all that, you're telling me you're in love with me?!? What the hell, Jake? How am I supposed to take all this?"  
  
"Hamilton, please try and understand how desperate I was to start this. I felt like I was completely invisible to everyone, including my own mother. I truly did not plan on liking it here or making friends here. And the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt anyone, especially you. That's why I had to tell you now, before this got any worse. I've hated lying to you and just couldn't do it anymore. I know it's crazy and totally screwed up, but can you forgive me?" She was crying now. She wanted to remain calm, but this was harder than she thought and the tears started to flow freely.  
  
Hamilton saw her tears and felt some of his anger slip away. Realizing he wasn't the only one feeling hurt right now, he went to Jake and cautiously slipped his arms around her. Jake looked surprised but slid into his arms and held him tightly. She couldn't help but think how good it felt being in Hamilton's arms. It felt safe and secure; she would give anything to never let go.  
  
When Jake's tears slowed down, Hamilton pulled back so he could see her face. She looked sad and vulnerable, but also delicate in a way he had never noticed before. Choosing his words carefully, he continued to hold her as he spoke.  
  
"Jake, I don't hate you. I'm hurt that you felt you couldn't tell me the truth before, but at least you told me. I feel like a complete idiot that I didn't see this on my own. I see it now and a lot of things make sense now, but I still feel foolish."  
  
"Hamilton, please don't think like that, this was all my fault. It was my stupid idea..."  
  
"Jake, stop. What I'm trying to say is that I need some time to think about all this and figure out what I think and feel."   
  
Jake was still in his arms, watching his face as he spoke. As many times as she had studied his face, it was still as beautiful and breathtaking as the very first time she had seen him. She had only dreamed of being this close to him, wrapped in his arms. For a brief moment she forgot about everything else and just enjoyed the feel of his body close to hers. Lost in the moment, she looked at his lips and couldn't resist kissing them.   
  
Hamilton felt Jake's lips on his and was startled by the softness. He was stunned enough to stay there and not pull away. Jake's lips pressed against his and he felt himself returning the kiss. All of the feelings Jake had tried to hide came pouring out in that kiss. To her surprise, Hamilton was beginning to respond with equal fervor. The intensity between them snapped Hamilton back to reality. Again his mind was on overload, he needed to get out of there.  
  
Pulling away from Jake, he headed for the door.  
  
"Jake, please, I need some time to think about all of this. I'll talk to you later, ok?" He didn't give her time to answer as he quietly closed the door behind him.  
  
Emotionally drained, Jake relocked the door and fell onto her bed. Tears continued to fall as she drifted off to sleep.  
  
Hamilton didn't feel up to facing his parents right now and wandered down to the dock to think. There were so many thoughts racing around his head, it was hard to pick one to concentrate on. There was the fact that Jake was a girl - that was a biggie. How the hell did I miss that? He thought of all the "guy" things he and Jake had done together, talking about girls, playing football, hanging out all day in the common room playing video games and oh god - he knew at least once he had taken a leak right in front of her! And how many "playful" punches had there been? There were so many things he would never have said or done if he had known she was a girl. Or would he? At least some of those things she had to enjoy. She was way too good at video games to be faking that, she had kicked his butt repeatedly. Then there were all the things he had shared only with Jake, like his photography. Jake was the only person, besides his mother, he had ever shown his portfolio. Jake had seemed genuinely interested in the pictures and stories behind them. He - she - had even gone with him several times when he took pictures around campus and the lake. She had helped with the equipment and waited patiently while he hunted for the perfect picture. She had even kept him company in the darkroom as he developed the pictures, asking questions about the process and wanting to know more about his favorite thing. Then Will's comment came back to him. "The only person that can put up with you like that is Jake." Will had a point and Hamilton knew it, just today he had wondered what it was about Jake that made Hamilton so much more comfortable than the other guys at school. Was it because Jake was really a girl or because Jake, regardless of gender, was truly his best friend? The real kicker had been when she said she was in love with him.   
  
"First she tells me she's a girl, then she tells me she loves me. Could this get any more complicated?" Hamilton spoke to the water as he fell back on the dock in frustration. "So how do I feel about her?" He remembered how delicate and soft she looked tonight, vulnerable and fragile, not tough and unaffected like usual. And he couldn't help but remember in vivid detail what was under that shirt. The gentle curves of her very female body and the swirls of blue lace were etched in his memory. He felt a warm arousal building as he thought about her curves; wondering what it would have been like to touch her, run his hands up her sides, cup her breasts and kiss her neck... It was a delicious thought until another one snuck up on him - she had lied to him from day one.  
  
He kicked at the dock in frustration as he got up and made his way home. This was a problem he was not going to be able to sort out in one night.   
  
The next day Hamilton showed up for class at the last minute, not allowing Jake any time to talk to him before Finn began. He sat near her as usual, but there was none of the playfulness they normally shared. As soon as class was over, Hamilton got up and left. Jake was left staring after him, wondering if this was his answer.   
  
At practice that afternoon, Hamilton again showed up at the last minute. Jake tried to smile and act normal, though all she wanted to do was run away and cry. Jake studiously tried to avoid his face as they rowed, concentrating on anything and everything but Hamilton. Hamilton took the opportunity to study her more closely. The delicate girl from last night was gone and her "boy" persona was intact.   
  
"She looks like a guy and acts like a guy, so why am I attracted to her?" Hamilton questioned himself silently. "Why was I drawn to him before I knew he was a she? What does that say about me, am I attracted to guys? Why am I attracted now? Because I know that's really a girl or because I like the way she looks as a guy? Can I ever forget that she lied to me all along? Even if I did want a relationship, how could we be together, the whole school thinks she's a guy?" The questions were driving him insane. She shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the thoughts. But it was no use, as soon as he looked at Jake again - the questions came back.   
  
After practice, Finn took a moment to remind the guys about the race in two days. "Get ready for a tough race gentlemen, St. Mark's has got a great team this year. We, however, are better. As long as we all bring our minds, as well as our bodies to the boat." With that last sentence he looked pointedly at both Jake and Hamilton. He had caught on that neither of them were thinking about crew during practice.  
  
Over the next two days, Jake and Hamilton continued to see each other around school. Jake was waiting for Hamilton to show some sign he was ready to talk again and Hamilton hadn't given it yet. Figuring it would do her no good to push him, she let him be and hid in her room as much as possible. Before the race, Hamilton approached Jake and asked if they could talk later tonight. She agreed and allowed herself to hope that he would at least still want to be friends.   
  
The race went well and Rawley won. Afterwards, the Rawley team was congratulating each other on the docks when some of the guys got the crazy idea to start throwing each other into the water in celebration. Jake was in the middle of the dock when they started and couldn't get off fast enough. Before she could get away, someone's arms came around her and flung her into the water. He couldn't have been looking closely at where he threw the coxswain, though. As Jake came down, she caught her side on the end of the boat and hit the water in pain. Hamilton heard her say "put me down" and turned around just in time to see her graze the end of the boat before going into the water. He pushed his way to the end of the dock, searching for Jake to come back up. He jumped in after her just as she came back to the surface.   
  
"Jake, are you okay?" His voice was quiet but filled with concern.  
  
"I just need to get out of here." Her voice was unsteady as she tried to hide how she really felt and make her way out of the water.  
  
Hamilton resisted the urge to deck Jason for such a stupid move, instead following Jake out of the water.  
  
"I'm going back to my room. I'll talk to you later." Her teeth were clenched and he could tell she was struggling to walk normally.  
  
"I'll come with you." He stated in a tone that left no room for her to argue.  
  
They slipped away from the team, not wanting to attract any attention to Jake's injury and walked in silence to her room.  
  
As soon as the door closed behind them, Jake kicked the doorframe in frustration. Her side hurt like hell and she was furious with Jason.  
  
"Remind me to deck him later." She said as she sat down on her bed, holding her side where she had made contact with the boat.  
  
"Let's take a look at that, Jake." The gentle tone of his voice made Jake look him in the eye for the first time since the race. She was relieved to see nothing but concern reflected there. She slowly pulled the sweatshirt over her head, wincing in pain as she moved.  
  
Hamilton lifted the hem of her t-shirt to find her corset covering the injury. Jake pulled the Velcro apart and looked down. They both frowned at the sight. There was a nasty, red welt along her ribcage and patches of blue and purple were appearing already. Hamilton gently tried to touch her and she winced in pain again.  
  
"Jake, we have to get that looked at, you could have cracked a rib or something."  
  
"Hamilton, if I go to the school nurse, I'll get caught and probably be kicked out of school before dinner. Is that what you want?"  
  
Hamilton responded without thinking. "No." Then he realized what he had just said and seemed to think it over before again saying no. Jake felt a wave of relief wash over her; he didn't want her to leave just yet.  
  
"But we have to have someone look at that, we'll go the Emergency Room instead." Jake was pleased that he kept saying 'we'. "Let's get you into some dry clothes and then to a doctor."  
  
Jake reluctantly allowed him to help her out of the wet clothes and directed him to the proper drawers for dry ones. This was really not the way she wanted to be getting undressed with him, but the throbbing pain in her side told her to deal with it and accept the help. He turned his back while she peeled off her wet underwear and put on dry ones. It hurt to reach around to unhook her bra and she blushed furiously when she had to ask him to unhook it. His touch was warm against her back as he undid the hook and turned his back again while she slipped on a dry, white silk bra. She was still blushing as she asked him for help again and his hands trembled slightly as he tried to slip the hook into the eyelet. Helping her put on another sweatshirt and jeans, Hamilton couldn't help but notice how she looked and felt. Her skin was silky and smooth under his fingertips and the soft, delicate Jake was back. He felt guilty for admiring her figure while she was in pain, but he couldn't help it. Buried under all those layers of baggy clothes was a fabulous body.  
  
Jake couldn't stand the idea of putting the corset back on. Instead, she carried her leather jacket in front of her and Hamilton went first to make sure no one was around to see her leave the dorm without the corset hiding her chest.  
  
Making their way to Jake's bike, Hamilton asked again if she was sure about taking the bike. "Are you sure you want to ride on that? I could borrow my mom's car."  
  
"No, I'll be fine. Besides, your mom is going to want to know why you're taking her car. Just be careful and I'll be fine." Jake was glad they had taken her bike out during the summer and Hamilton had learned how to drive it.  
  
"Oh damn!" Jake stopped just in front of the bike.  
  
"What? What's wrong?" Hamilton spun around looking for the cause of her concern.  
  
"I just thought of something. What if the ER wants my mom's permission to treat me?"  
  
"Oh god, I never even thought about that. What do we do now? You can't go to the school nurse, but you really should have that looked at, those bruises are pretty wicked already." Hamilton leaned against the bike and threw his hands up in frustration.  
  
"Think Jacqueline, think." Jake paced, frantically trying to find a way to make this work.  
  
"Wait a minute, what am I thinking?" She stopped pacing. "I don't have to be Jake in the ER. They'll know I'm a girl and I can give them my home address so they won't send anything to the school."  
  
"Ok, but how does that solve the permission problem?"  
  
Reaching into her jacket pocket, Jake pulled out her cell phone and started dialing. Hamilton looked at her for an answer as to why this was a solution.  
  
"Hi Consuela, it's me Jacqueline. Is Mom home?" Jake looked at Hamilton and smiled, Hamilton still looked confused. "No? I didn't think so. London, again? I need your help, Consuela. I got hurt on my bike and I need - no, it's not serious - but I do need to get it checked out. I'm heading for a doctor now, but I need you to say you're Mom if they call for permission or anything like that. Is that ok with you? No really, I'm fine I just grazed my side and want to make sure I didn't break any ribs. Thanks, Consuela. Yes, I promise I'll call you later and let you know. Love you." Jake snapped the cell phone shut and looked at Hamilton who finally understood.   
  
When they arrived at the ER, Hamilton sat with her as she registered and filled out the necessary paperwork. Jake held her breath and Hamilton crossed his fingers as the nurse dialed the number Jake had provided for "her mother". The both relaxed when the nurse hung up the phone, made some notes on the forms and told Jake to follow her.  
  
Jake disappeared with the nurse while Hamilton was banished to the waiting room. As he sat staring aimlessly at the walls, he thought about what he was going to tell Jake when they got back. Before the incident at the race, he thought he only wanted to be friends. But there was no denying that he was feeling something more now. He remembered quite clearly the panic he felt as he saw Jake hit the side of that boat. And his burning desire to rip holes in Jason for hurting her. He felt an overwhelming need to protect her and take care of her as they walked back to the dorm. And there was absolutely no arguing with the way his heart was pounding while he helped her change. Again his thoughts wandered to touching her, kissing her and having her body against his. He remembered what her lips felt like against his and how it felt to hold her the other night. He had to admit - it felt good. He was still upset that she had lied, but the more he thought about that, the more he realized it was his ego that was hurt since he hadn't figured it out on his own.   
  
Jake's voice pulled him from his thoughts. She was ready to leave and carried papers and several prescription bottles. The nurse went over her instructions once more and wished her well before retreating back into the ER.  
  
Hamilton waited until they were outside before asking. "What did they say?"  
  
"Nothing broken, just 3 bruised ribs. Doc says it's going to hurt for a while, but they gave me something for that. I had to laugh when he said I could wrap it if that made the pain better. Little does he know what I do every day." They shared a laugh and got back on the bike.  
  
After the bike was safely tucked away, Jake thanked Hamilton for all his help and told him she'd be fine now. Hamilton insisted on walking her back to her room. When they got to her door there was an awkward moment when neither knew what to say next. Finally, Jake broke the silence.  
  
"Do you want to come in for a while?"  
  
"Yeah, I'd like that" he replied quietly as she opened the door.   
  
Once inside, silence reigned again as they just looked at each other, unsure of what to say or do. Jake was surprised when Hamilton walked over and took her hands in his.  
  
"Look Jake, I'm really sorry about the other night..."  
  
Jake cut him off, "Hamilton, you have no reason to apologize. I'm the one who created this mess, if anyone is going to be sorry, it's going to me be."  
  
"Stop" he said quietly as he gently put his fingers to her lips. "I don't want to spend all night apologizing."  
  
Jake searched his face for an explanation. "Well, then what do you want to do?"  
  
"Kiss you."  
  
His answer caught her off-guard, but she couldn't help but smile. It was almost to good to be true. "Really?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Really." He whispered as he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers. The sweet tender kiss quickly turned into a hungry, intense need for each other. Jake had only dreamed of being with Hamilton like this and Hamilton was surprised by his sudden, desperate need to be closer to Jake. He slid his hands down her back and pulled her against him as his lips moved from her mouth to the underside of her jaw and slowly down her neck. A small, satisfied moan escaped Jake's lips as Hamilton made love to her neck and his hands roamed her body...until he accidentally brushed her bruised ribs and she flinched. Hamilton stopped abruptly, realizing what he had done.  
  
"Oh my god, Jake, I'm sorry."  
  
"Please don't be sorry. I was enjoying that way too much for you to apologize."  
  
"I meant about hurting you."  
  
"I know, but I'd like to forget about my ribs for right now and get back to what we were doing before you have second thoughts." She was smiling, but there was a serious undertone to her words.  
  
Hamilton remembered that they still hadn't talked about their situation yet. Taking her hand, he led her to the bed and sat down against the headboard. He patted the space in front of him. Jake took this as a good sign and snuggled against his chest. He smiled at her action and wrapped her in his arms, dotting her face with little kisses.  
  
"I'm not going to lie to you Jake, I'm still upset about all this."  
  
"You have every right to be, Hamilton. I really wish I could change things."   
  
"No matter what we do next, things are going to be weird."  
  
"I know. Can you handle that?"  
  
"I think so." He smiled and stared at her face, wondering how he could have ever thought this was guy's face. He kissed her on the nose and chuckled softly as a thought wandered across his mind.  
  
"Your mom really hasn't got a clue that you're attending an all boys school?"  
  
"Nope." She shook her head.  
  
"And I thought my father was bad..."  
  
As they laughed together at their clueless parents, Hamilton pulled her closer to him and gently kissed her smiling lips. They spent the next several hours talking, laughing and kissing, before drifting off to sleep still wrapped in each other's arms.   
  
Sunlight streaming through the window woke Jake the next morning. She gazed at Hamilton's face and watched him sleep, thinking how wonderful it felt to wake up next to him. She searched her memory for times when she felt this happy and content.  
  
She couldn't think of a single one.  



End file.
